"It's not like I want to fuck it up, Tristan! I am completely aware that my life and yes more is at stake and I didn't ever come out to try to help thinking that it was a small, risk-free deal! This time, just coming out for a Christmas visit with some friends, yeah, I did not think anything would happen. You got me. But in general I don't think that being involved with this bullshit is a joyride or something, and if you think I'm in love with the risk, you've got a messed-up view of me."